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Laurie would not describe herself as a victim. Laurie is a lawyer and a survivor of sexual assault. A former liberal feminist, Laurie rediscovered the truths of God, recommitted her life to looking at everything through the lens of Scripture, and is now the president of Women in Apologetics. I can think of no one better to talk to about the current #MeToo movement that is sweeping our nation. Join us in this important discussion about the #MeToo movement. What is the good that has come from this movement? What are some aspects where we should exercise caution? What does Scripture really mean when it tells us to “love our enemies” and how does this apply to #MeToo survivors? We don’t promise an easy listen. We do promise to examine all sides, and ask ourselves honestly, “How should we as Christians respond to the #MeToo movement?”There is no competition between forgiveness and holding someone accountable for their actions. You don't say 'I forgive you, therefore I’m not prosecuting.' No. You can forgive and you can prosecute. Click To Tweet
Main points covered:
- We’ve been on hiatus for a while because… We have a Mama Bear Apologetics book coming out!!
- Laurie’s #metoo story
- We aren’t just victims, we are survivors!
- It’s not just women. It’s men too (i.e. Priest scandals and Hollywood pedophilia)
- Laurie’s testimony
- Discussion about “is feminism pro-woman?”
- Magnetizing the compass of our emotions (like we talk about in the upcoming emotionalism chapter)
- Difference between forgiveness and enabling
- Addressing the two bad extremes: 1) Mob rule group who aligns with all things #metoo and 2) people who immediately disregard #metoo as hysterical women looking for their 5 minutes of fame
- Good things coming from #metoo
- Awareness, realizing how much discrimination, harassment, and rape have been taking place
- Men realizing how their words and actions affect women
- Dangerous things coming from #metoo
- Real victims or real assault are being exploited by the media calling everything assault
- Exploiting actual situations
- “Boy who cried wolf” phenomenon
- Unhealthy hypersensitivity
- It’s not that we are to not judge, but we are to judge rightly
- The heightened sensitivity of emotionalism
- #metoo with kids (bullying)
- ***CORRECTION*** We had a listener point out that our statement about sexual abusers having been abused themselves is no longer accurate. With the prolifery of porn, there is often no correlation between an abuser who has themselves been abused. It happens, but it is not the norm.
- Having someone face the consequence does not negate forgiveness.
- When justice is served, it deters evildoers from perpetrating more wrongdoing.
- However we are not judge and jury, and it is the Lord’s to avenge. We cannot take revenge into our own hands.
People and resources mentioned:
- Laurie Stewart – former feminist, current lawyer, rape survivor and Women in Apologetics president. She and her husband also have a ministry at www.intelligentfaith.com
- Women in Apologetics radio interview
- Women’s March “unity principles”
- Mama Bear’s article on the Women’s March
- Philippians 3:13-14
- Victim impact statements for Larry Nassar case. Here is my favorite, the victim impact statement of my friend Rachael Denhollander, who shows such grace and Godly fury in her full statement. It doesn't get better than Rachael Denhollander's full impact statement. https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/24/us/rachael-denhollander-full-statement/index.html Click To Tweet
- Proverbs 18:7
- Matthew 7:2
- Garrison Keillor “assault” accusations *Correction: I had heard that it was him having a picture taken. Apparently, it was him consoling an employee. Either way, he immediately recognized his mistake and emailed an apology, which she accepted.
- Abdu Murray’s Saving Truth: Finding Meaning and Clarity in a Post-Truth World
- Kavanaugh hearings (Yeah… I’m just going to skip any links to that.)
- 2 Corinthians10:5
- Proverbs 21:15
- Hebrews 10:30; Romans 12:19
- Intersectional – When people fall into multiple classes considered “oppressed groups” to form a hierarchy of oppressed groups. (And yes, Hillary did accidentally slip and say “intersexual” once. For the record, that’s totally different!) Here’s a brief summary.
- Worldview – the mental lens by which you make sense of the world around you. It tells you what is right and wrong.
- Ad hominem – a logical fallacy where you attack aspects of a person instead of addressing their ideas. Ex: making fun of Trump’s hair instead of commenting on his policies.
- Hasty generalization – A logical fallacy that happens when a conclusion does not follow the premises. A person takes a few observed instances and generalizes it to an entire group. Ex: “My dad was an abusive alcoholic and my boyfriend cheated on me. All men must be pigs.”
- Logical fallacy – a flaw in reasoning where something is presented as evidence for or against something but is based on something other than sound reason. Here’s a handy list of logical fallacies.
- “We need to have a civil, honest, and compassionate, and well thought, and well-reasoned conversation about this.” – Laurie Stewart
- “Anyone who has been raped has been victimized, but I like to think of myself more as a survivor than a victim.” – Laurie Stewart
- “Fundamentally what is at the core of most of these issues that we’re seeing in society is identity: we don’t know what or who our identity is, so we look to other places and people and ideas to try to figure out what our identity is.” – Laurie Stewart The core of many issues is a sense of identity. With the #MeToo movement, far too many people are finding their identity in their victimhood instead of in Christ. Click To Tweet
- “But then I started to realize that the feminist agenda is not really about women’s rights.” – Laurie Stewart
- “I don’t think I’ve ever met a truly empowered sex worker.” – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
- “I eventually surrendered my life to follow Christ, because I no longer trusted my own instincts or the way I view things, and I now want to see everything through the lens of Scripture.” – Laurie Stewart
- “We can follow our hearts… if our emotions are properly disciplined already. If they are not properly disciplined, who knows where they’ll take you?” – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
- “If there’s one big takeaway that anyone can take from this podcast, it’s “Don’t stop seeking truth.” If you seek it, and you are willing to change your life to conform to that truth and follow it where it goes, you won’t be disappointed. Once you find it, you have to be willing to go where it takes you.” – Laurie Stewart
- “Because Christ has turned my life around, I am able to see everything through a different lens. Through that experience, I achieved a brokenness to where I could truly say “I am nothing without Christ and I want God as my ultimate savior.” – Laurie Stewart
- “Once I realized how much I’ve been forgiven, I have to forgive others. There are some radical teachings in the Bible about forgiveness and about loving your enemies.” – Laurie Stewart Once I realized how much I’ve been forgiven, I have to forgive others. There are some radical teachings in the Bible about forgiveness and about loving your enemies. - @lauriestewart50 Click To Tweet
- “We reach out in compassion to those who have been victimized … but we need to learn how to have compassion for the wrongdoers too. I know it sounds so strange and awful, and I’m not offering a pass on the bad things that have happened. That’s not what I’m suggesting at all. But do we really want to just go around putting everyone in jail, or do we want people to change and hearts to change? That’s what I want to see. I want to see people changed.” – Laurie Stewart
- “I really think there’s a lot of guys out there who really don’t understand how being sexually violated cuts to the core of who a woman is and can have lasting effects on her for the rest of her life. I really think some guys just don’t get that.” – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
- “We can withhold judgment and that doesn’t mean I don’t believe one person or another. It’s just I can withhold judgment until all the facts are in. That’s what I do as a lawyer at trials. I tell the jury, “You’re going to be hearing information. Withhold your judgment until you have heard all the evidence, to hear all the stories that come in.” – Laurie Stewart
- “Proverbs 18:17 – The first to present his case seems right until another comes forward to question him.” We have made the court of public opinion to be higher than the supreme court Click To Tweet
- We have made the court of public opinion to be higher than the supreme court. – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
- This is what I want to see. You and I are having a rational conversation about this. And I have had a couple of rational conversations with people on the issue, with people who view this differently than I do. All too often, I think we are losing the ability to have civil disagreements about difficult topics, and I would love for us to restore some civility in the way we even disagree.” – Laurie Stewart
- Emotions have become the arbiters of truth. – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
- “This idea of post-truth really is what we have going on right now, where people have lost the ability to objectively analyze things and I think that is why we are seeing such a decline in people being able to rationally talk about [things about which they disagree].” – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
- “We are all made in the image of God—even wrongdoers.” – Laurie Stewart
- “Most parents would say, “No way am I teaching my kid to argue!” …Arguing is presenting reasons and presenting evidence for a particular belief, and that’s making an argument for something. And being able to do it without having to get the emotions so involved.” – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
- “We have given our culture over to the emotionalism that is spinning out of control, and nobody is learning how to have self-control. A lack of self-control is honestly part of the foundation of the #metoo movement—someone who didn’t have self-control either over their own hands or over their words.” – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
- “Two wrongs do not make a right.” – basically everybody’s mom
- “As a survivor, I don’t want to be responding wrongly to a wrong that was committed against me.” – Laurie Stewart As a survivor, I don’t want to be responding wrongly to a wrong that was committed against me. Click To Tweet
- “If we’re called as Christians to love our enemies, we love them. Love is not [necessarily] something you feel. So this gets back to thinking and making choices regardless of your feelings.” – Laurie Stewart
- “There is no competition between forgiveness and having [the perpetrator] face the consequences of their actions, especially in a legal sense. It’s not like you have to say, “I forgive you, therefore I’m not prosecuting.” No. You can forgive and you can prosecute.” – Hillary Morgan Ferrer
Hillary Morgan Ferrer is the founder of Mama Bear Apologetics. She is the chief author and editor of Mama Bear Apologetics: Empowering Your Kids to Challenge Cultural Lies and Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality: Empowering Your Kids to Understand and Live Out God’s Design. Hillary has her masters in Biology and has been married to her husband, Dr. John D. Ferrer, for 15 years. Don’t let her cook for you. She’ll burn your house straight to the ground.