For the past month, our local stores have been gradually stocking gear for the next holiday: Pride Month. Rainbows have become the pumpkin spice of late spring. Your toddler can now rock a trans rights tee-shirt. Even Mittens the cat can have an oh-so-fabulous scratchpad to boast their owner’s pride. Cuz nothin’ says equality like commercialism. Rainbows have become the pumpkin spice of late spring. #pridemonth Click To Tweet
The influx of over-priced swag might catch some parents off guard. But we here at Mama Bear know that this can be a great teaching moment to discern truth before the parades assemble. So, let’s take a quick look at the top slogans you and your children are going to see during Pride Month.
“Love is Love”
What it Means: This one has been around for decades but it’s worth a fresh look. What they’re saying is that any expression of romantic love (or sex) between consenting individuals is morally equivalent to the romantic love between a man and a woman. It’s the lovin’ feelin’ (affection) that makes it good, not the context or gender of those involved.
The Problem: Morality gets seriously problematic whenever we try to ground it in anything other than God and His purposes. If there is a design for our bodies and our relationships (and Scripture is pretty clear on this–1 Thessalonians 4:3-8), then any expression outside of that design isn’t pointing to the transcendent reality that sex and marriage were intended to point to (Ephesians 5:31-32).
The Truth: This standard isn’t just for LGBTQ+ people. Cisgender heterosexuals don’t get to hop off the morality train just because they’re attracted to the opposite sex. All of us are to submit to God’s design because rejecting God’s design for sex is rejecting God according to 1 Thessalonians 4:8.
The Teaching Moment: Read 1 Corinthians 6:12-13 with your child and discuss the reasoning of the early church of Corinth. What were they trying to justify? How could these things become a sin? Can concepts like love exist without boundaries? Why do we need an objective standard of truth to discern these boundaries? How do moral placeholders like consent, pleasure, and commitment fail to adequately define love? (Hint: see chapter 8 in the MBA Guide to Sexuality.)
“Everyone Welcome”
What it Means: There is a lot of isolation and hurt within the LGBTQ+ community. Especially among youth. This is why this new slogan for 2022 wants everyone to know that any expression, from BDSM, Twink, Bear, and everything in between, is welcome to join the Pride community and march yo’ bad self down Main Street come June.
The Problem: Despite being grammatically clunky, it’s the implicit messages lurking within that are the biggest issue. First, it implies that the Pride community is the only place LGBTQ+ individuals are welcome.
Abigail Shrier noted in her book Irreversible Damage that this just isn’t true. LGBTQ+ people have to maintain the ideological status quo to stay in the community. Question the validity of the arguments or follow someone who isn’t “queer affirming” and you risk being ostracized from the community.1Abigail Shrirer Irreversible Damage, 191-94
Second, the LGBTQ_ ideology encourages LGBTQ+ individuals (especially kids) to cut-off cisgender haters who don’t endorse that lifestyle, effectively isolating them from anyone outside of the Pride community.
Lastly, only those who are LGBTQ+ advocates are welcome. Anyone else, including sound non-affirming medical professionals, are kicked to the curb. Prepping Your Kids for Pride Month Click To Tweet
The Truth: Despite what LGBTQ+ people have been told, you are welcome within the church. You can even pick which kind of sinner you’d like to sit next to, and people will gladly make room! No, you won’t find sexual sins endorsed.2Yes, there are churches that have put Scripture through the filter of queer theory. Meaning they have removed (or deconstructed) any passage that affirms God’s design for our bodies and sexuality. But any time we use an ideology to filter God’s Word, we aren’t growing closer to God, we are creating a false one. Just like you won’t find the pastor preaching on the goodness of being a greedy, lying, gossiping, gluttonous, busybody. But you will be welcomed into the body of believers, encouraged to take up your cross, and affirmed for who you truly are: an image-bearer of God.
The Teaching Moment: Read about Jesus’s ministry to the lost in Mark 2:13-17, Matthew 19:13-15, and Matthew 8:1-15. Who did He welcome? How did He minister to them? How does His example show us how we are to love those around us? Does loving another require that we reject the truth about sin? What is a way we can be welcoming to someone with different beliefs or lifestyle Despite what LGBTQ+ people have been told, you are welcome within the church. You can even pick which kind of sinner you’d like to sit next to! We're all equal at the foot of the cross. #pridemonth #trueequality Click To Tweet
“Equality”
What it Means: This follows along the same lines as love is love but has limitless application–and right now it’s being especially applied to gender identity. The good kind of equality makes sure that basic rights to housing and job opportunities can’t be restricted against LGBTQ+ individuals. The bad kind argues that bathrooms, locker rooms, shelters, and even prisons must also be freely accessible to any person based on their gender identity.
The Problem: It’s not hard to see the issues with this one. Just look at sports. From a biological level, a male body is different from a female body. You can take as many hormone blockers are you want; a biological male is most likely going to crush the female competition. Just look at Lia Thomas.
When we allow transwomen to compete against cisgender/biological women, we haven’t made things ‘equal,’ we’ve virtually eliminated cisgender women from women’s sports.
Secondly, men are separated from women in bathrooms, locker rooms, shelters, and prisons for the dignity and protection of the weaker sex: women. Without this separation–based on biology–there is no way to distinguish between those who truly identify as the opposite gender and those who are faking it for their own gain. This won’t stop same-gendered violence, but it does ensure that women are protected against male predators.
The Truth: As the saying goes, “Freedom isn’t equal, and equal isn’t free.” Kids need to know that just because something isn’t equal doesn’t always mean it’s bad/wrong. Lots of things in life aren’t equal: women get more time off work for maternity leave than men. Men, on average, are physically stronger than women.
In fact, it was the inequality of Christ’s death on the cross that paid the price of our sins and justified us before God.
Teaching Moment: Discuss examples of when inequality is actually a good thing, like how hospitals give each patient different treatments. Next, discuss when inequality is a bad thing, like giving one sibling a full dinner while the others just get to watch him eat. Show how when we look at Scripture, we see that men and women were created differently and that each of us is deserving of an equal share of God’s wrath. However, because Christ loved us, He died for us so that all people who profess faith in Him are welcome in Heaven. That’s true equality. The good kind of equality makes sure that basic rights can’t be restricted due to sexual or gender identity. The bad kind argues that bathrooms, locker rooms, shelters, and even prisons must also be freely accessible to any gender… Click To Tweet
“Love Wins”
What it Means: This became the trending hashtag of 2015 when the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage. It celebrates the ‘equality’ of gay marriage and makes an appearance any time pro-LGBTQ+ laws are passed. In essence, only the LGBTQ+ advocates are loving in the right way, and history will show anyone who disagrees with the ideology as the bigots that they are.
The Problem: This final slogan is a culmination of the previous three, and like them, it has one of the biggest flaws of all. If love is love, then the boundaries that confine it are strictly cultural.
Prior to the Supreme Court’s ruling, marriage was between a man and woman, consistent with God’s design. Now we’ve shifted to “two consenting adults.” The problem is that there’s nothing in place to stop marriage from being redefined into all sorts of craziness: like a thruple or potentially eliminating age requirements.
This has been accused of being a slippery slope fallacy, but it’s a slippery slope reality. Just follow the logic. The LGBTQ+ ideology already claims that young children can make life-altering decisions regarding their bodies. What’s to stop it from saying that children can be in love with someone decades older or vice versa? Only social convention.3If you’ve ever read “The Overhauling of Straight America,” this result is very much an acknowledged possibility. http://library.gayhomeland.org/0018/EN/EN_Overhauling_Straight.htm
The Truth: Love didn’t win on June 26, 2015. That was plain ol’ social caving to a false idol made in our culture’s image (Romans 1:21-23). No, love won over 2,000 years ago when Christ laid down His life for you, me, and the rest of humanity–that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16).
Teaching Moment: If you haven’t already, check out our blog, “When Adam and Steve come to Dinner.” It’ll help you discuss the difference between biblical and civic marriage, so your kiddos know that there’s a huge difference between the two. Next, point out how words like love and equality are being misused. Ask your kiddos why accurate definitions are necessary for truth. You can use silly examples like switching the definitions of cake and broccoli to show how words matter. For older kiddos, ask what a false understanding of words (like “love” being only affirming the LGBTQ+ ideology, and “hate” being those who don’t) can lead to, especially regarding the church and Gospel. Bonus points for discussing the good, bad, and ugly of allowing feelings to act as a filter for truth.
Final thoughts
Pride Month can feel daunting. Especially knowing that your kiddos’ cartoons are going to promote the LGBTQ+ worldview. But take heart mamas. As Dr. Doug Flanders encourages, “Parents aren’t meant to child-proof the world, but world-proof the child.” Use what the world is giving you to speak the truth and shine a light in the darkness.
*Disclaimer: Previously, the “love is Love” section contained the statement: “At its core, love is love is just another way of saying sex is sex.” This has brought some confusion and needs a little nuance. We are not saying that love is just sex. Hence, the differentiation at the beginning of the section between romantic attraction and the physical act of sex. However, both share the same fundamental problem when they lack objective grounding: they lose all meaning.
So yes, I agree with you, love isn’t just sex. But if there’s no objective design then love and sex each become meaningless.*
Got more questions about sexuality? Check our our recently released book Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality: Empowering Your Kids to Understand and Live Out God’s Design.
Amy Davison is a former Air Force veteran turned Mama Bear Apologist. She is currently a grad student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary studying apologetics and philosophy. She and her husband Michael (also former Air Force) have been married for over 15 years and have 3 kids. Amy is the Mama Bear resident expert on sex and sexuality, and she’s especially hoping to have that listed on her Mama Bear business card.
Good points, and ones we have been addressing already at our dinner table. I shared with my children last night how it breaks my heart that we even have to have this discussion at such a young age. Most of these words and topics weren’t something that was broached until I was an adult with a fully mature brain to be able to decipher truth from a lie.
I would like to add the word “Pride” to your list. It wasn’t until recently that the Holy Spirit reminded me that the overarching theme to this month is also antithetical to God and his design for humanity. There are numerous scriptures that refer to pride being detestable to God. Satan himself even fell from God’s ranks because of his pride.
Thank you for presenting the truth. I pray more families read this and share with their children.
To the point Amy made, even when looking at pride as something positive, as in being proud of an accomplishment, since when are we proud of a sin? When is Unfaithful Pride month? Or Rape Pride. How about Swingers Pride? There’s a good reason that a stigma has always been attached to LBGTQ activities. To those who say “I’m not a Christian so I don’t have to follow your bible.” Fine. Your (poor) choice. What two or more consenting adults choose to do is their business. These are non-believers, so I have no desire to punish them for their non-belief. I disagree with any form of discrimination against them. But I refuse to accept that what they do is right or moral and I will fight them when they try to convince our children that it is. We have to learn to stand up to the changes they want in our schools and say “We don’t hate you. We’re not trying to stop you from making your own ADULT choices. But we DO NOT believe that what you do is moral and we will not allow you to teach our children that it is.”
Thank you! It’s hard to navigate these times we are in, especially raising young children. I don’t like how the word “cisgender” is used through out, however. That is a term given to a group of people by another group of people and I find it wrong and incredibly offensive to use. I don’t think we should allow them to control our language by making it the normal way we describe ourselves. I’m a woman-created by God- who is attracted to men. I am not cisgender.
My son’s 5th grade teacher had the class read this newsela article during language arts yesterday and take a required quiz. “Steven Universe” changed TV forever: For its creator, its queer themes were personal”
One of the quiz questions is this: “Which piece of evidence from the article MOST appeals to the reader’s sense of morality?”
We are going to write a note to the Principal. Our reason is that it was required with no opt-out and has a specific message around sexuality and morality.
There is a student in our son’s class who is nonbinary and has experience some hurtful comments. This child was switched to my son’s class mid-year and we know the teacher is trying to be extra supportive.
Any suggestions on how we communicate with the Principal and create a conversation? We don’t want to create walls and this is the second reach out to the Principal. Strangely, my first reach out was yesterday morning with a positive affirming comment on his leadership. Our family will also be at this school for 6th grade. Thank you.
This is disgusting.
This article is homophobic, ignorant and inaccurate. Pretty triggering and heart wrenching. I hope non of your kids are having to grow up closeted and full of shame like I had to. Guess that’s what therapy is for. Sad.
It is not a fallacy to call this move a slippery slope. I learned of a man married to a fake thing- basically a hologram that is based off a video game character. What is happening?! This person is a part of speaking engagements to inform people of how they, too, can marry an inanimate thing. I’m devastated by humanity sometimes.
This article is homophobic, ignorant and inaccurate. Pretty triggering and heart wrenching. I hope non of your kids are having to grow up closeted and full of shame like I had to. Guess that’s what therapy is for. Sad.
Totally agree. There is so much fear and substituting the word “truth” for judgement so that people don’t have to face and own their own biases. I get it, I used to feel like I had to agree with these things that sound good, because oppression and microagressions can be so subtle. Its about survival of belonging. I am so disheartened that this article is teaching kids how to judge others and using the bible to back their point of view.
There is shame in sin for all of us. You are no different. We lay our sins at the feet of the Lord, we ask forgiveness and we ask for strength to not sin again. If you are a believer, then why do you think your sin ought to be treated differently? Once forgiven, the shame is gone. Once we learn to suppress the urges to sin, we sin less and we grow closer to God. But if you are not a believer and you reject Christ, then your post here will have no effect on anyone who reads it. We know and understand the truth of God’s Word. It has been given to us to show us the way. Our years here are few but eternity is forever. Don’t throw away your eternity with God for a tiny bit of pleasure here on earth. God loves you and wants to have an eternal relationship with you that will bring you more joy than any simple pleasure here on earth.
I agree. I am a Christian, yes, really. I am all for LGBTQ. I personal am not gay, straight. These articles are painful to read. I have met many people who have tried to fight their inner core and truth of self, pretending they’re straight; getting married, etc… for YEARS! Sadly for some, an entire lifetime. When they finally go with what has always been in their heart.. they are truly happy! No longer fighting the demons of their mind and heart. Freedom. There are people who are 100% obvious as can be, gay. Many were literally born that way. You can absolutely tell! Yes, you can. I realize some have made a choice to be gay, or bi, etc. – I’m not even saying that’s right or wrong, but some people..100% apparent. In those that it’s not so much, if that’s in their heart and core, they know it. Scripture has been used to amplify individual opinions of topics for all of time. I believe a LOT of scripture, even though very direct, is a metaphor for many other things. God loves ALL. Please churches, be openly welcoming of gay people. Have groups! Many have a desire to go to church, to be part of that community… but guess what? They cant! Unless they pretend they are something they are not, and what kind of spirituality is that? If everyone is so focused on ‘sin’, how can you be so prideful to go to a church conference or event, then gorge on all the free cookies while at the same time, looking down on LGBTQ? It makes no sense. You wouldn’t be shunned if you are overweight. Articles of ‘sin’, discrimination, ignorance wrote on it while quoting the Bible. Someone says “I haven’t been to church in a while; I’ve been feeling so lazy lately.” They would likely be met with laughter, saying, “It’s okay, you’re here now” and possibly go into their own lazy days story. Many sins are on repeat, here and there, throughout the day, every day! Even if briefly. When you longingly look at someone’s new house, their cars, clothes, or ANYthing, oh no! You’re coveting. Snapped at someone? Got overly angry? Sin. There’s no shunning there; everyone has their OWN stories and constant daily in and out of sin, not even thinking about it. Please churches, be welcoming of ALL. Meet them where they’re at. LOVE them. Welcome them. Stop focusing on the one part of what makes someone human! Stop making such a big deal of this. Who cares? Jesus loves all, all the time. Love them too. Get off your high horse and sin of pride (see?) and practice the true things of the bible: love, grace, compassion…
If we were homophobic we would be afraid of homosexuals, tell me, if we are afraid of homosexuals, then why are we going against you? Glad to be triggering and heart wrenching.
So thankful for this ministry. You have helped and equipped so many of us have the words to combat the messages being shot at our kids. And honestly, to see the gravity of this spiritual war and not be complacent.
This is a horribly horribly upsetting article full of so much propaganda and fear and pure hatred. I SINCERELY hope that no young queer kids stumble across this.
If you find yourself here, my queer friends, know this: there is a place that you are welcomed, and loved, and supported, for all that you are. If you are queer, if you are questioning, there is a community that loves you.
Megan – absolutely agree
There IS a place where you are welcomed, loved, and supported, a community that truly loves you, but it’s not the one you’re talking about. The community you’re referring to is one that only loves you if you agree with them- that’s not real love. If you disagree with that community, you’re out.
The community that ACTUALLY loves you is the one that tells you the truth, even if it’s hard for them to do. It’s the one that loves you because you are made in the image of God, as an equal, not because you agree with them them. This community is the one of true Christians.
We are not scared. We know that God will accomplish what He wills. We do not hate you. We are called to love everyone, as they were made in the image of God.
I sincerely hope and pray that you, and the young people you were talking about, will experience this true love and will come to know Christ.
You are so worried that young queer kids might read this article and decide not to have themselves castrated? And you state that they are loved and supported for all that they are, what about their flaws?
And you state that if you are queer there is a community that loves you, that means that the ‘community’ only loves you if you are queer? That is not real love.
It’s heartbreaking that YOU have twisted the word LOVE and decided it means SEX.
Is it really the gay community being promiscuous? Because you are more obsessed with sex than the last 100 articles from gay sources.
Learn more from an actual person from the community instead of propigandizing for points.
Disgusting.
The author of this article did not make that connection, she is only replying to pathetic pathos quotes, she gets her definition from the Bible, not the media
I would like the author of this article to have a conversation with me. There are a few things I have to say that are documented and not made up by me and are a reality he or she has not heard of that just might knock their socks off. I beg you please be brave and talk to me.
muy buen contenido, es una lastima no tenerlos en español.