MBA Episode 55: The Art of Disagreeing Agreeably

Let’s all make a pact, Mama Bears, that in a world gone mad…we don’t add to the madness. You may remember our recent Daily Discipleship videos about disagreeing well (you can watch them here), but we didn’t say all we wanted to about the topic in those videos, so Hillary and Amy decided to talk about it in their latest podcast.

Let’s all make a pact, Mama Bears, that in a world gone mad…we don’t add to the madness. Share on X

Social media is just one indication that we’re not living in a society where people know how to be civil (or if they know how, they don’t do it very well). And anyone who watches the news or politics knows that our kids aren’t going to learn this skill from media or politicians.

As Christians, we are called to be set apart. We are to be known by our love (John 13:35) and our speech is to be so sound that when people want to slander us, they have nothing bad to say. (Titus 2:8) And might we add that even a simple thing as disagreeing well will go a long way in setting us apart in the culture.

It’s a tough task, and sometimes the only tool we feel like we have is to be silent. You know, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything.” It’s a great principle, but not when it comes to the corrosive ideas invading our culture, our schools, and even our churches. There’s a time to be quiet but there is a time to speak, Mama Bears. We can no longer be peacekeepers by staying out of the fray. We are to be peace makers, which means that we have to be willing to rock the boat.

We are to be peace makers, which means that we have to be willing to rock the boat. Share on X

Disagreeing agreeably is a skill, a skill that is learned through practice. We are by no means saying you have to be perfect right off the bat, but we’re hoping this podcast gives you some helpful tools to making your voice heard in a godly way.

Have you recently experienced a situation where you had a conversation with someone with whom you disagree and it didn’t end your friendship? Share it with us in the comments!

Why we need to disagree well…let’s look at some Scripture

Things are testy in our world right now

Tips on Disagreeing Well

1. Understand what is said
   • Listen to understand, not just to respond
   • Listen to identify things you can agree on
   • Ask clarifying questions
   • Repeat it back to them to make sure you got it right

2. Interact with the Message
   • Start with what you agree on
   • Affirmation Sandwich

Troubleshooting Communication Breakdown

Interrupting

1. Sometimes it’s just because they are excited.
   • Try: Let them get it off their chest and then keep the conversation rolling forward.
2. Sometimes it’s Doug Syndrome. “Squirrel!”
   • Try: Gently redirect. “I’m not sure how it pertains to what we were talking about.”
3. Sometimes it’s Stump the Chump. “Steamroller technique”
   • Try: I would really like to have a conversation about this, but it doesn’t feel like this discussion is very productive. Would you mind if we talked about something else? (Let’s go get coffee!)

When to pull away

Wrap up and Review

Closing Prayer

People and Resources Mentioned:

• The Ambassadors Forum: https://theambassadorsforum.com/2020-registration/
  • Use the code MAMABEARYOUTH and you get a free child’s ticket!
• Hillary’s article, “10 Things to Pray Every Day During September 2020”
• Mama Bear Episode 54: Linguistic Theft
• Disagreeing Well (Daily Discipleship) YouTube videos
• Greg Koukl’s book, Tactics
• Donate to our ministry

Scripture References:

Colossians 4:6

Proverbs 18:21

Ephesians 4:29

James 3:1-11

Quotable Quotes:

“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” – Mike Tyson

“You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it does.” – The Princess Bride

“Good dialogue requires patience and self-control.” – Amy

Questions or ideas? Send us an email at admin@mamabearapologetics.com.

Donate to the podcast on our website.

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