In this episode, Amy talks with Katy Faust, founder and director of the children’s rights organization, Them Before Us, about how children have a right to both their mother and father, how God’s design for marriage protects children, how divorce impacts children, and how to help kids understand why marriage is important. (Note: If you watch the vlogcast on YouTube, Amy’s video is frozen for a while. It’s a glitch on our end, not yours. :))

Main Points Covered

  • Them Before Us (TBU) makes a secular case for the rights of children by appealing to God’s Word, which is universal to everyone regardless of whether they are a believer.
  • TBU seeks to demonstrate that parenting laws cater to the desires of adults rather than the best interests of children.
  • By middle school, your kids need to know the why behind what we believe, especially regarding marriage.
  • Seeing, modeling, and teaching the beauty of God’s design is important because you become what you behold.
  • Children of divorce are more likely not to marry because they’re unsure if marriage can last.
  • Marriage is more than just a piece of paper.
  • Children born out of wedlock aren’t doomed, but they will have significant obstacles in their path.
    • In the Christian worldview, we don’t make kids sacrifice for us [adults].
    • How to help your children have a healthy worldview of marriage
    • Preschool through Elementary: Expose them to as much truth and beauty as possible.
      • Uphold the complementary differences between mom and dad.
      • Tell them how you are committed to each other even through hard times.
    • Middle school
      • Introduce challenging topics to the kids: sex, marriage, parenting, fathering, etc. without fear. If you aren’t speaking, someone else will.
      • Explain the biblical versus the secular definition of marriage.
  • Practical tips for if you have gone through divorce
    • When possible (and safe) nurture a good relationship with the divorced spouse
    • Don’t vilify/ bad mouth in front of the child.
    • Children naturally feel protective of their parents.
    • Even in cases where one parent is clearly at fault, it’s important to explain the situation carefully so as not to hurt the child in the process.
    • It’s okay to validate the feelings of loss the child might have.

Mentioned Resources

Them Before Us

Mama Bear Apologetics (book)

Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality

Quotable Quotes

“Being able to appeal to natural law, social sciences, and the testimony of people allows [kids] to stand firm even if they’re standing alone,” Katy Faust

“Understanding the ‘why’ behind what we believe inspires reverence.” Amy Davison

“Praise God for step-parents who step into the place of an absent parent.” Katy Faust

“Keeping kids from being taken captive by the lies of culture doesn’t happen on accident, it happens on purpose.” Katy Faust

“Whenever possible, allow your children to behold the beauty of marriage within your home so that they know what to become in their own marriages” Katy Faust

“You become what you behold…and culture is forcing us to behold all manners of dysfunction.” Katy Faust

“God’s world will always reinforce God’s Word.”

Questions or ideas? Send us an email at askthemamabears@gmail.com.

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